Friday 26 September 2014

Call yourself a foodie?

I have often thought about including daily food diary posts on here. There’s a blog linky called What I Ate Wednesday dedicated to just that and I think they’re fascinating – I love to see what people are eating.

I’ve never worked up the nerve to do it though, and the main reason for this is the title of the blog which was invented on a whim without any real thought whatsoever. I made the mistake of referring to myself as a foodie. Which is probably giving a false impression.

I love to eat and I love to cook and I spend such an inordinate amount of time thinking about what goes in my gob that it is a wonder that I remain gainfully employed. But I’m not a foodie, as anyone would realise the second they actually saw my daily eats. Here are some very good reasons why:

I do not bake my own bread. I am quite frightened of the bread making process. This year, I successfully managed to bake pretzels and steamed buns but I have failed to use this success as a springboard into the further delights of the homemade loaf. (NB: I am going on a bread making course in November to try and combat this because it’s one of those things I really feel I should master).

Oh, pastry also scares me. When I successfully make pastry I get inordinately proud.

I eat ready meals. Or “prick and ping” as Peridot once so delightfully called them, which phrase I have shamelessly annexed. I think some of them are quite nice, especially if they come from M&S. Although M&S have a rather nasty habit of discontinuing my favourite things. The day they stop making my beloved turkey and pastrami flatbread we shall have a falling out.

I eat fast food. I eat in chain restaurants. I think a Big Mac is a thing of beauty, even if it does make me feel slightly dirty afterwards. When we lived in York, we regularly ordered pizza from Dominoes at my instigation. Whatever it is that Dominoes produce it is not pizza in any true sense of the word, but I scoffed it anyway and generally enjoyed it even though it was guaranteed to give me heartburn. Now we live in Leeds we have found a local takeaway firm that makes really rather nice pizza indeed. Sometimes though, I miss a stuffed crust.

When I lived on my own I ate an inordinate quantity of sandwiches and seldom cooked. Cooking for one seemed pointless and sad. My skin (and waistline) suffered.

I’m sorry, but I can’t taste the difference in organic produce.

I drink Diet Coke like it is going out of fashion. I know it is rotting my insides, but I can’t bring myself to give it up.

Other ridiculously processed items of food that I actually like include (but are not limited to): Babybels, Laughing Cow triangles, wafer thin turkey ham, Doritos (cool original, obviously), Haribo Tangfantastics and Dairylea Dunkers. Hmmm, apparently I have a penchant for pallid, rubbery imitations of cheese.

Sometimes, I don’t want to eat expensive 70% cocoa solids chocolate. Sometimes, I just want a bar of Dairy Milk.

Go on, make me feel better! Confess your foodie sins!

7 comments:

  1. Love this. Have you seen the hashtag confessyourunpopularopinion? I miss M&S, I love a good industrial mince pie and one of my last meals would probably contain a biscuit (American kind) from a fried chicken chain called Popeye's...

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    1. Beth, just realised I never got back to you re alternative joints in London to make your own booze...we've been researching but not come across anywhere comparable to the Ginstitute. Will let you know if anything turns up!

      Now, biscuits...are these kind of sconey? I have yet to try one...industrial mince pies though: yes, yes, we're all supposed to make our own but a searing hot Mr Kipling, with ice cold cream is...just amazing.

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    2. Thanks for the booze-making intel!

      Impossible to describe what a biscuit is -- they're flakier/lighter/more buttery than a scone, and not as dry. Since we're talking trash food, next time you're in the US go try a sausage biscuit at McDonalds (when I first dragged a Scottish friend who was visiting, she confessed she couldn't help picturing a sausage between two HobNobs, which it most definitely is not!) Or I will recommend somewhere sufficiently foodier (by which I don't mean KFC, which also sells biscuits in the US...)

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  2. Oooh, a girl after my own heart definitely. I love food, I consider myself a foodie but then I also adore KFC, dirty donner Kebabs and the odd Dominoes pizza! I'm incredibly happy in a Michelin starred restaurant but take me for a McD's and I'll still love you :)

    Oh and babybels, absolutely! xx

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    1. Thank goodness it's not just me. Ohhhhh KFC. Love that :-)

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  3. You are definitely a foodie! You eat things that make me feel squeamish in amazing places - and you cook as if you had been trained somewhere exotic and adventurous!

    I am probably too unadventurous and fussy to be a foodie but I love tangfantastics, ferrero rochers and after eights! Also the occasional McDonalds. Never had KFC or a dirty kebab and I don't like fake cheese or Mr Kipling anything!

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  4. You can definitely still consider yourself a foodie while liking trashy food! In fact I think it's the best of both worlds as it means you're not a terrible snob. In addition to the many worthy candidates you and others have mentioned, can I put in a vote for Quorn "chicken" nuggets with mayo from a plastic bottle, McDonalds chips, french onion dip from a plastic tub, macaroni and cheese from a box, and Sara Lee pound cake, preferably still partially frozen?

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