Humph.

Right. That’s it. Time for some tough talking.

I should have known when I posted last week, talking about how good I was feeling, how my head was back in the game…I should have known that I was asking for it. Actually, I should have known when I posted a rather smug Q1 Review that I was tempting fate. I, my friends, am struggling.

The lovely and very clever Lesley as written before about her “chimp”. I’ve been going back and looking at some of her old posts as I grapple with how I get myself back on the wagon before I undo all this year’s good work. This one gives a good introduction. From what I can gather, your chimp is how you describe the part of your brain that is governed by emotion and instinct. To overcome the emotional side of eating (which is what is causing me issues at the moment) you have to get to know, and train, your chimp.

My chimp is unsettled. I’ve recently been offered a place on a four year training programme at work – it will be tough going but will ultimately lead to much greater opportunities for me. D and I have put our flat on the market and plan to move from York to Leeds to be closer to the office which will save time and money. These are good changes, positive changes. But I think my chimp is currently running around in increasingly crazed circles at the idea of leaving a home and a job which have felt so…safe. Oh, and let’s add the fact that our car has had to undergo some major surgery which is adding an element of financial concern to the mix.

I’m not holding these up as excuses for overeating and over indulgence. But I’m intellectually curious; I mean, eating, drinking, going into a kind of hibernation – these have always been my standard reactions to any sort of stress - but by my do I mean my chimp’s? From what I have found reading up on the theory online (I may end up cracking and buying the book) these could be my chimp’s way of interpreting safety and survival – food, warmth, shelter.

So what steps am I now going to take to halt the downwards (or should that be upwards?) slide.

Step 1 – my chimp does not like to shown up in public. So, I’m going back to WW meetings (for the eleventy millionth time). Seems I can’t be accountable on my own – at least at the moment – so public weighing is the way forward. I’ll also be reporting my loss, gains or otherwise here on my blog to ensure that I’m accountable to you as well.

Step 2 – chimps are very motivated by rewards. So, I’m going to offer it a financial reward for a) going to the weekly weigh in b) going to the gym and c) seeing a loss on the scales. This money is specifically to go on clothes – one of my prime motivators to lose weight is to look better, and what makes a girl feel better than a new top or a new pair of shoes?

Right, I feel better for having written that down. I’ll be going to class at noon tomorrow – wish me (and my chimp) luck.