I think I might have to give up the daily weighing for a while. I've never been entirely sure whether it is healthy way of keeping an eye on things or whether it tips over into slightly obsessive behaviour; either way, when the number has an impact on your daily mood (and my mood is never good at ten past six in the morning anyway) it's time to back away.
This particular morning I am sulking slightly because although I have been tracking a 2-3lb loss all week, this morning there was a slight bounce and that has reduced to a 1.6lb loss. Today, as regular readers will know, is my official WW weigh in and so the day when the big numbers count. Since the WW scales measure to the nearest half pound, that 1.6 will more likely be a 1.5. And 1.5 does not sound like an adequate return for my sterling efforts this week.
Really, I need to slap myself around the face with a wet kipper and get over it. A loss of 1.5lbs is at the upper end of the healthy range so is a good result by any sensible standard. Yes, I have been completely on plan this week, (hurrah for me) but there was still beer and wine at the weekend, and chocolate most days, and a delicious Welsh rarebit for breakfast on Sunday morning, so deprivation has hardly been the order of things. And bitching about 1.5lbs really gives the lie to every single time I have told someone, in all sincerity, that any loss is good and should be celebrated.
I was pondering this in the car this morning (who doesn't love a bit of cod psychology before 7am?) and wondering if what I am really disappointed with isn't the fact that it is taking me time to lose the weight but the fact that I gained it in the first place. If you are overweight, or, indeed, have any sort of issue with food, you can never, never escape it. Every mealtime becomes a string of finely balanced decisions, every time you look in the mirror you are reminded of your failure to be moderate. And when you finally, finally take yourself in hand you just want that fat gone so you can get on with a life in which every single moment does not revolve around what you can/can't, should/shouldn't eat.
Melodramatic? Oh, almost certainly. As I keep saying, I am never at my best in the morning. And the thing about having a blog is that sometimes you need to use it to dump out all the over thinking and all the self pitying whingeing and everything that is making your brain feel slightly itchy. Anyhoo, I'll be back later on with the official report and in the meantime will try and focus on things other than the number that represents the gravitational pull of the Earth on my person like, y'know, the day job.