I am not a butterfly

Did you know that butterflies don't eat?  Basically, a caterpillar spends its entire time scoffing itself silly, then it goes into a chrysalis and then, when it emerges as a butterfly, it has so much fuel in reserve from its earlier indulgences that it doesn't need to eat at all and can just focus on the business of procreation. 

One wonders why it doesn't work the same way with fat humans.  I mean, if you've eaten an excess of fuel such that it is stored on your arse or your thighs or wherever, surely you should be able to just stop eating and make use of your stores without any detriment to your health.

There is a point to this, honest.  And the point is - I really hit a wall this weekend, and, for the first time since the last of my latest WW campaign, found things tough going.  It wasn't an issue with hunger or food, more that I just felt absolutely drained of any energy whatsoever.  We set off for a walk first thing on Saturday morning and every step felt like an effort, where the previous weekend it had been easy.  I had a nap on Saturday afternoon.  Then I had an early night.  Then I had a nap on Sunday afternoon followed by another early night.  I was the Incredible Sleeping Woman.

Because worrying is one of my favourite hobbies, I immediately started worrying that I was coming down with some sort of terrible sleeping sickness.  But then I actually decided to use my brain a little bit and considered that:

 a) I am eating a calorie restricted diet at the moment, thereby reducing the amount of fuel that I am taking in and
b)  I am upping my activity and thus increasing the amount of fuel that I burn and
c)  I am not a butterfly.

Clearly, I do not wish to spend every weekend in bed.  Well, I sort of do - not for nothing is the sloth my spirit animal.  But it is sort of nice to go out and do stuff.  So I'm going to monitor the situation.  If things don't improve then obviously something needs tweaking - either I need to eat more or I need to eat differently or maybe scale back on the general steps and concentrate my energy on finishing the Couch to 5k programme.  That may, of course, mean that my weight loss slows down, which is absolutely fine - I'd rather half a pound a week* but sustainable in the long term than get to goal by Christmas** and pile it all back on again by Easter.

*Feel free to remind of this when I lose half a pound at my next weigh in and moan about it.
**Not going to happen unless I literally lop off several limbs, but you get my point.

Setting my agenda

Greetings, friends! I’m in Barcelona this week, where hopefully the sun will be shining and the tapas will be tapas-ing. Can’t wait to share my adventures with you when I get back! But, in the meantime – last week it struck me. In (less than) six months time, it will be Christmas. Scary, no? So, at the 2014 halfway point, I’ve been putting some real thought in to what I can do to ensure that my weight loss continues apace in the latter end of the year. I would love to have hit the six stone mark by the end of December, which is about thirty pounds away. That is an imminently achievable target as long as I work through this current funk (and hopefully the holiday will give me the boost I need to regain focus on my return).


So, what has gone well this year?

 I’m very good at not giving myself credit for my own achievements. I’m a Yesbut. I’ve lost nearly four stone…yesbut it has really slowed down lately, yesbut there is still more to lose, yesbut I shouldn’t have gained it in the first place. Yawn. I’ve done well, I should be pleased. My weekly average, since starting this latest campaign last September, is 1.4lbs. OK, 2 or even 3 would be lovely, but 1.4 is still a respectable figure.

 We’re in a really good routine of planning and cooking evening meals. D has got involved which is great, we eat a good variety of foods, we cook from scratch most nights and seldom fall into the takeaway or “popping out” trap.

 I haven’t gone backwards. I really haven’t felt 100% these last couple of months which, in the past, I would have used as an excuse to self indulge, but I’ve put in enough good days to counteract the bad. I’ve got maintenance down to a fine art!

 Swimming! I’ve joined a gym and have managed to get myself to the pool at least a couple of times a week.

And what’s not gone so well?

 My enthusiasm has waned and, with its passing, the rate of weight loss has slowed to a crawl.

 I don’t plan my breakfasts and lunches with anywhere near the same care as my evening meals, with the result that I rely too heavily on shop bought, high point, expensive sandwiches and snacks and often find myself getting very hungry. Hunger leads to poor decisions.

 Weekend drinking has increased again – and the occurrences of midweek pick me ups as well. Alcohol is high in points which means I have to compensate by cutting back on the amount of weeklies available for extra food. This makes me hungry. Hunger leads to….(you know the drill).

So what can I do to address this?

 I’ve tried to avoid setting time based goals because not reaching them can lead to disappointment and disappointment can lead me to end up face down in a bowl of Doritos. But, as long as I realise that the sky won’t fall in if I don’t reach my entirely arbitrary goal, they can be helpful. I’m hereby aiming for the six stone mark by my last weigh in before Christmas which, as I write this, is 30 pounds away (although it might be slightly more after a week of tapas). I have 24 weigh ins to do it in, between the 11th July and the 19th December. BRING. IT. ON.

 I need to start being more organised about ALL my meals. Meal planning, henceforth, needs to include lunch planning as well.

 Alcohol is not my friend. Special occasions aside, I probably need to just avoid it altogether. Note to self: a Friday is not a special occasion.

 I need to up the exercise, which will give me an activity point safety net. My daily points allowance has gone down from 39 to 31 since I started, which is a big difference and could be one of the reasons why I am struggling. I’m enjoying the swimming, but I need to throw a bit of running in there as well – I want to be a runner. Runners are cool. Like bow ties.

Right – there we have it in black and white. The countdown to Christmas starts on the 11th July, my first post holiday weigh in. I know I can do this, I want to do it, I’m even (as I type) feeling a glimmering of enthusiasm. Hurrah! Onwards and downwards!

(New) scales on Saturday

Previously on WWF: -48.3lbs
This week: -3lbs
Total loss: 51.3lbs

There was a nasty moment earlier this week when my faithful old scales finally gave up the ghost.  Too weak to even finish their final error message, they flashed up a feeble "err" before dying completely.  Farewell, old friends.

Of course, my immediate concern was that switching to a new pair of scales could cause a rupture in the space time continuum - or, at the very least, a blip in my weight loss.  New scales can be very sneaky.  So, I don't really know whether this week's loss is all "real" or whether it is down to the newbies sucking up a little bit and weighing me a tad lighter than the old faithfuls.  Whatever - I'm taking it.  I LOVE my new scales.  I also really like the fact they weigh to 0.1 of a pound.  Little things, people.

I must admit, I was hoping for a good result.  I had done all the right things WW wise - not only tracking every last swig of gin consumed at the tasting last Saturday (it was painful to look at that day's tracker), but also getting to the pool for four (count 'em) swims, netting me 20 activity points (of which I consumed 2).  I'm trying to edge my way back into exercise and swimming, for me, is by far the least painful way to do that.  I want to start a running programme as well, but for the next couple of weeks, I think I'm going to stick to ploughing up and down the pool while I build up the nerve to hit the treadmill.

Onwards and downwards - the halfway point is approaching and I can SMELL it.  

It was all going swimmingly...

Yesterday was rather like the curate's egg.  There was good news (you passed your exam!  You can go ahead and destroy those stupid index cards!) but also bad news.  I managed to lose both my keys and my purse - and when I say lose, I am becoming increasingly convinced that I actually unintentionally gifted them to someone.  It's not the end of the world - ok, I could have done without knowing how much locksmiths actually charge (ouch!) and all the cards got cancelled before any transactions went on them and there wasn't all that much cash in there, but still, it leaves an unpleasant taste in the mouth.  I am someone who goes through life probably being a bit careless at times because I tend to believe in the inherent goodness of most people.  I need to be more cautious because some people just aren't nice.  Which is sad.

Oh, and the purse itself was a Mulberry one which was a gift from D for my thirtieth birthday.  Which also makes me sad.  I have replaced it with a very pretty Accesorize one but still, I loved that purse.

Heigh ho.  I must admit, my last ditch attempts to reign in any Scottish themed damage went somewhat out of the window last night and (still in a spirit of confession) I was tempted to skip weigh in this morning as a result.  But I didn't, and the result was a 3lb gain which also isn't the end of the world.  A good week will sort that out.

And then, post weigh in and post post weigh in coffee, I went swimming which is news in itself.  I took out an expensive gym membership back when I moved here in September and then, like 67% of people with gym memberships proceeded to not use it.  I just thought about using it a lot.  While lying on the sofa.  Weeping.  And drinking wine.  Which meant that my fitness went woefully downhill.  Which made me even less inclined to use it.  But I have, just in the last few weeks, gradually started to reintroduce it into my life.  I used to love some of the classes that I went to at the gym - I think I would struggle with an hour of Body Combat at the moment, so I've started with swimming, and I'm going to build up.  It's probably too soon to notice a huge difference, but earlier this week I walked up a hill to get to the Wallace Monument and then walked up said monument and didn't die.  I take victory where I can get it.   

The Wallace Monument.  Big in Scotland.

View from the Wallace Monument, complete with Scottish flag.  And top of random man's head.

I’ve turned into one of those people…

Guess where I was at twenty past six this morning. Go on, guess.

Twenty past six saw me sitting outside of the gym, waiting for it to open.

We decided not to actually join the queue of keen beans that were waiting for the turnstiles to be unlocked and instead lurked in the car until half past. Nevertheless, I was in the pool at twenty five to seven and, as I swam up and down and watched the clouds begin to blush pink with sunrise through the glass roof, I thought to myself “Who are you?"

Maybe this time next year I'll have a Beachbody...

One of the things that I really, really want to get off to a flying start this coming January is a proper exercise routine. Throughout 2010 I was managing fairly regular attendance at the gym – to the extent that I was actually choosing to get up before nine on a Saturday to get to a Body Combat class. All that has rather petered out in the latter half of this year.

My general attitude to exercise was always one of dislike and suspicion, a seed planted back in my school days. I was not, it is safe to say, a sporty child, nor had any ambitions in that direction and can’t say I ever cried myself to sleep at night when I missed out on a place in the netball team. While we’re on the general subject, I never really understood the edict that every single pupil had to have some sort of role in Sports Day, but tried to get on board (generally by putting my name down for the relatively safe Tug of War every year as soon as the sign up sheet was posted). With the exception of swimming I steered clear of sport in general. And I think the world of sport was probably pretty grateful.

But then, back in (I think) about 2009, D and I began attending a local gym on a reasonably regular basis. I started off by just sticking to gentle lengths of the pool before cautiously venturing into the gym proper and then discovered that some of the classes were actually OK as long as you stayed at the back and avoided catching sight of yourself in the wall to wall mirrors. It would be too much to say that I ever enjoyed myself, but I definitely enjoyed the feeling of well being that followed a good workout. And I also enjoyed the fact that exercising allowed me to eat more. Weight Watchers allows you to earn bonus activity points to be consumed or not as the individual sees fit – well, I generally always saw fit (I am quite very greedy) and still achieved a steady weight loss as well as some fledgling muscle tone beneath the flab. So what happened in 2011? Hard to say. We’ve fallen out of routine, and, I must admit, the thought of having to build up all that fitness again from scratch does fill me with dread. More than once in the last couple of months have I thought about cancelling my gym membership.

Perhaps, then, it was more than a little bit lucky that a few weeks ago I had an email from someone who wondered if I’d be interested in mentioning some of their products on here. If I tell you the site was called beachbody.com you may understand why I was more than a little surprised – there may well have been some incredulous laughter on my part. But I read her mail and was touched that she said that she’d seen that I have posts relating to “living a healthy lifestyle”. And I thought, well, they may have been a bit thin on the ground lately, but living a healthy, balanced lifestyle is in fact the point of this blog. I want the people who visit me here to understand that losing weight or maintaining a healthy figure isn’t about deprivation but about balance. Have your cake, eat it, but make up for it somehow. Eat salad for dinner or (and here’s the bit I’ve certainly been avoiding for the last six months) go for a swim or a jog. I’ve lost sight of the exercise bit of a healthy lifestyle recently, but this was a salutory reminder, and just in time for New Year Resolution season.

Beachbody have some new products coming out which they’ve asked me to link to, and, in the spirit of spreading the exercise love I am more than happy to do so, although I should add that I haven’t tried these particular ones myself – unfortunately, my living room doesn’t lend itself to home workouts. I have however done some Les Mills Pump classes at the gym and always found them good in a painful sort of way, plus, strength training is a really good way of boosting your metabolic rate. The slightly amusingly named Body Beast workout looks to be more aimed at those people who are wanting to build some serious muscle – not my thing, but ideal if you’re after a more Fatima Whitbread look (hats off to her, the woman looked amazing on I’m A Celebrity). And I had actually heard of the P90X2 workouts, which seem to be a mixed bag of strength training and cardio previous to seeing them on the site – to have penetrated my consciousness they must be doing someone some good.

I should also say that although it is an American site they do international delivery at no extra charge, which is nice of them.

Many thanks to the very sweet Emily from Beachbody for what may well be the gentle nudge I needed to get me back in the direction of the gym – I can’t imagine that I’ll ever be what you would call a gym bunny, but I do need to make it a part of my life again. Are you there, Bonus Activity Points? It’s me, Seren…