Frightened of slim?

I have always tended to gain weight in periods of emotional difficulty and distress. When I am happy – or, even, just not excessively miserable / stressed / anxious, I maintain without even having to think about it. I’ve been doing a little bit of navel gazing recently because I am genuinely intrigued as to why this is. The brain makes very powerful connections that sometimes we’re not aware of until we start picking at them.

Firstly, and most obviously, “comfort eating” is a thing because of chemical reactions in the brain caused by certain types of food. And, equally, the reason most of us have particular foods that we turn to in times of need is because there is some sort of happy association – possibly with childhood. But I’ve recently started to wonder if, for me, there’s another element to it – which is, on some level I think that being overweight is a safer, happier place than being slim.

When I was growing up I was a plump, clever teenager. I was surrounded by a nice group of likeminded friends and a loving, supportive family. I was bookish and musical. I didn’t really have boyfriends or, indeed, much interest in boys at all until I was quite a bit older. I was happy and fulfilled; I never thought of myself as one of the pretty, popular set but it didn’t particularly bother me. Except, of course, the media (even back then) bombarded young girls with the idea that being slim is the only acceptable aesthetic and so, probably even without really thinking what the outcome would be or why that outcome would be desirable, I dieted. I got thin.

Here’s the kicker though – I don’t think that being thin (and when I was seventeen / eighteen I was actually thin rather than slim) ever made me any happier and, in fact, the constant restrictive eating and the battles with my concerned parents and teachers combined with A-levels and university entrance interviews made life really rather stressful. I started to regain weight.

A few years later, I lost it again. Now I was in my early twenties and at my first job fresh out of university. I worked in a warehouse office, answering phones to delivery drivers (oh, the glamour!). It was a very aggressively male environment. I was young, I was female, I had a habit of dressing slightly provocatively (you can take the girl out of Essex…) and for the first time in my life I found myself the serious object of male attention. Looking back, I think that I was terrified and utterly out of my depth. I constantly felt that I was playing at being the cheerleader when really I wanted to run back to the library and hide. Again, it was not a happy time for me. When I met D and settled down with him, the weight began to creep back on – and I do wonder if, in part, it was my subconscious’s way of saying that I was now “off the market”.

It’s surely no surprise that, if the two main periods in my life when I was slim were both unhappy ones, I might eat not just to make myself feel better in the moment but to maintain a status quo that, on some level, I think will bring me more happiness? I’ve never really thought of that before, but it does make sense.

So how to overcome this? I think my current approach of focusing on the health aspects rather than the aesthetic ones is the right course for now. I also think that I need to ensure that any goal setting is health related rather than predicated on an aspirational dress size. There will be no skinny jeans or bikini hung on the back of the wardrobe door (although, in all honesty, I think I could get down to 8 stone and you wouldn’t see me in a bikini. I have never been comfortable with the idea of essentially wandering round the beach in your underwear. And I never go to the beach. So…)

The most important thing is to be alert and aware. Back when I was doing CBT a few years ago, my absolute favourite phrase was “Hold your stories loosely”. It means that we are all capable of change, of rewriting our own truths. So what steps can I take now to convince my brain to disassociate being slim with being scared and miserable? Answers, as ever, on a postcard!

MPM: 30th July 2018

Another weekend gone – honestly, the year is slipping away. We had a nice trip out with family on Saturday, although after my slip up on Friday night, I was absolutely determined to be on plan which proved incredibly difficult with all the gin flying around (not literally you understand). Our hosts had chosen a Turkish “bistro” for dinner, which would not have been my first choice, but I ordered a grilled chicken shish kebab and it turned out to be absolutely gorgeous. I do think that looking at the menu in advance and having a plan is a good practice if you want to remain focused (although rather dull and worthy if you don’t). I barely looked at the menu when we arrived so I couldn’t be distracted by all the other goodies and thus managed to end the evening on track.

And, having hopped on the scales this morning, I am cautiously optimistic that, unless things have yet to catch up with me, I should be posting another loss at WI. I now need to make sure that my inner rebel doesn’t take this as a sign that I can quaff wine with abandon every Friday night and then pull it back by being sensible. Because it doesn’t take much for one night “off” to turn into a whole weekend “off” and that is a far more difficult position to reverse.

Other than tonight, when I am out seeing a friend, we have a full week at home which will be nice from a WW point of view, as it means I don’t have to have one eye on saving points for the weekend. Thus, I think that the meals for this week are an interesting and decidedly non “diety” mix of dishes:

Tuesday: Korean spiced beef and vegetable stew (a freezer dive) with rice and kimchi (apparently, a zero point food! Hurrah!)

Wednesday: A D choice – he is planning to make a punjabi kadhi, which is a spiced yoghurt soup. It was one of his favourite lunchtime dishes at Bundobust, but they removed it from the menu during a recent rejig. This should be interesting, as I have to say that it was never a particular preference of mine, but I’m sure that he can make it work.

Thursday: Aubergine Parmigiana. I’ve been having a fancy for this for a while. I haven’t decided on side dishes yet – I think that I fancy just garlic bread (if I have the points available) and a rocket and Parmesan salad, but was considering the possibility of wild rice.

Friday: Cod with Parma ham and lentils. An old blog recipe, this should work beautifully with Smart Points.

Saturday: Hot dogs! I’m going to get proper franks and proper hot dog buns and then load them with ketchup and American mustard and caramelised onions and sauerkraut. And I might even make a potato salad. Or just serve them with chips.

Sunday: Lamb loin with Parmesan mash and mushrooms. Proper Sunday fare, and an homage to a dish we ate in Paris may moons ago.

Here’s to another great week all round.

Full Disclosure

Friday night, for the first time, the wagon teetered. And the culprit was my old Nemesis, wine.

I’m a little disappointed in myself, of course - after two and a half weeks of exemplary behaviour and smug attendant blog posts, I shouldn’t have succumbed to the thrall of crisp, chilled Sauvignon Blanc. Aside from anything else, the Smart Points value of a glass would make your eyes water.

But I’m going to look at the positive side of things. I got up on Saturday, with a slight headache, and got on the treadmill before breakfast to do a Couch to 5k session and earn back some of those points. And, I did not use it as an excuse to write off the entire weekend; last night, while out with my in laws, I stuck to Diet Coke and slimline tonic and my preplanned menu choices, tracking everything. So that is good, that is progress. It remains to be seen how the Mean Girl Scales will react.

This week’s weigh in...that’s more like it!

Tonight the Mean Girl scales were kind and informed me that I had lost 4lbs. Hurrah! With my gain last week (boo!) that gives a net result of 3lbs across 2 weeks which will do very nicely. It’s not the rapidest loss in the world, but I’d be more than happy to accept a slow, steady dwindle. A pound a week between now and the end of the year would be nearly a stone and a half which would be amazing.

Two weeks in and I have to say I am really enjoying the Flex plan and the food that I’m eating. I haven’t felt this positive and, well, healthy in ever such a long time. Long may it continue.

Normal, whingeing service will no doubt be resumed soon but in the meantime, vive Le Flex!

Recipe corner: Red lentil, courgette and cheese loaf

I have never been the greatest advocate of yawningly “worthy” food so this recipe is something of a departure for me. Years ago, for reasons lost in the mists of time, D and I decided to detox the Carol Vorderman way and spent a very miserable week eating really bad food. I think that we managed about five days before falling face first into pizza. Ever since, anything like “lentil loaf” which sounds suspiciously like it has been plucked from the pages of a “clean eating” (bleurgh) book has made my toes curl a little bit. Nevertheless, I would commend this particular recipe to your attention because it is, quite simply, delicious. It makes me wonder if I should be a bit more open minded – after all, I’m quite a fan of spiralising vegetables as well – but then I remember back to Carol’s recipe for hummus, which resembled nothing so much as wallpaper paste, and I quickly change my mind.

Anyway, this loaf is utterly brilliant for anyone following the WW Flex programme because lentils and other pulses are now pointed at zero, which means that a slice of this makes a really low point, satisfying meal especially with a bit of salad and perhaps a cheeky hard-boiled egg (also zero point. Everything I eat at the moment, I serve with an egg on the side.) Last time I made it, D fried slices in butter and had them in a sandwich which, he reports, was most excellent. But frying things in butter and eating them with bread is (sadly) not the WW way unless one has run a half marathon and has oodles of points to spare. Behold the loaf in all its glory:



And here, in cross section, with the afore mentioned salad and egg (plus a drizzle of salad cream and another of sriracha). This entire lunch box was 3 Smart Points:



A note on reduced fat cheese. I love cheese. The notion of reduced fat cheese makes me slightly sad. Reduced fat products in general can be awful – and I utterly reject such aberrations as plasticky low fat spreads and “lite” mayonnaise. But I genuinely think for cooking, especially midweek, bog-standard cooking, a decent reduced fat Cheddar will do the job perfectly well in most cases. Pilgrims Choice is fine, as is Cathedral City – I need to try some supermarket own brands and if I come across anything particularly good, I will report back. If you are not counting points then feel free to use whatever cheese you like. A nutty Gruyere might work well with lentils. If you are counting, what I would suggest here (if you are so inclined) is to sub a proportion of the reduced fat Cheddar for a good smoked cheese as it will give the most wonderful flavour to the loaf. I used 50g of a very, very smoky (full fat) cheese and 75g of reduced fat Pilgrims Choice and it still worked out at 2 Smart Points per portion.

Ingredients

175g red lentils
Tsp vegetable Bouillon powder
350ml water
Courgette, grated
120g reduced fat Cheddar, grated
3-4 spring onions, chopped
Tbsp sriaracha (or other hot sauce)
Tsp dried chilli flakes
Squeeze of lemon juice
Egg, lightly beaten

Cuts into 8 decent slices, 2 Smart Points per slice (WW Flex)

Put the lentils in a large pan (big enough, eventually, for all the ingredients), stir through the stock powder and then pour over the water and set over a low heat. Bring the pan to a gentle simmer and then cover and cook for 10-15 mins until the lentils have absorbed the water and formed a thick paste. Mine cooked incredibly quickly and needed a splash more water after just 5 minutes, so it is worth checking regularly.

While the lentils cook, preheat the oven to 180, line a loaf tin (I always tend to use loaf tin liners such as these, but greaseproof paper would do as well) and prep the other ingredients.

Allow the lentils to cool very slightly and then stir all the other ingredients through and pour into the prepared tin. Bake for 45-50 mins until set firm and browning on top.

MPM: 23rd July 2018

Happy Monday my loves! I hope you had a wonderful weekend. We had such a pleasant Saturday: a mooch around Harrogate in the afternoon, followed by a WW friendly dinner with my parents. My sweet Mum researched WW friendly dishes (she’s a Slimming World gal herself and looks wonderful on it) to help keep me on track and in doing so introduced me to spiced, roasted chickpeas which could well be my new favourite thing (and zero point to boot).

So hopefully I am on track for a good result at this week’s weigh in - and by good result I mean any sort of movement in the right direction. Unfortunately, I’m out for lunch today because a member of my team is off to pastures new. How selfish that he wants to take a proper leave of us. And even more selfishly, he has picked a Chinese restaurant which is not brilliant for Weight Watchers. I have pored over the menu and picked what I hope is the least bad option, which I reckon will be around 18 points.

For meal planning purposes then, I’m assuming that I’ll be on dust when I get home tonight, and Saturday sees us out with my brother and sister in law. Sigh - yet another week where I’m going to have to navigate a restaurant menu. Elsewhere, we have turned to the early days of this blog for inspiration:

Tuesday: oven baked chorizo and red pepper risotto - it’s been ages since we had this old favourite.

Wednesday: pissaladiere - ditto. Despite the pastry, this only works out at 11 points a portion, so there may be some scope for some little cubes of roasted potato on the side.

Thursday: I’m potentially out all day at a meeting, so quick and easy is in order, and what could be quicker and easier than filled pasta tossed in butter, black pepper and Parmesan.

Friday: pan fried tuna and wasabi egg sandwich. Sounds odd, is absolutely delicious.

Sunday: Merguez burgers with houmous and roasted peppers

Have a good week all!

Oxymoronic

I did actually give the Smart Points programme a whirl when it first came out a few years ago.  Back then it was slightly different in that daily and weekly point allowances were a bit higher but fewer foods were zero points (just fruit and veg as opposed to the fruit, veg, chicken, fish, eggs, pulses etc. of the current iteration).

 

I was against it from the start.  I lost weight very well on the Pro Points programme (this was the version of WW prior to Smart Points). In fact, when I was going to meetings in 2014, I lost a stone in my first four weeks of Pro Points, which is pretty impressive.  So I already had a natural resistance to the change. 

 

And I do stand by what I thought then which is – Smart Points is more restrictive than Pro Points and it does feel more like a “diet” if you try to eat in exactly the same way.  I remember that when I was doing Pro Points, I found it pretty easy to eat sensibly and still have a piece of chocolate after dinner or a mid-afternoon biscuit.  A daily treat.

 

But I think my mentality is slightly different now because my focus, my absolute priority at the moment is my health rather than weight loss (although no, I'm still not quite over my disappointing result - I'm only human!)  My poor old body has been rather through the wringer and I want to treat it well, to nourish it.  Coming at Smart Points from that angle has made me realise that the very phrase “daily treat” is a total oxymoron.  The dictionary definition of a treat is: an event or item that is out of the ordinary and gives great pleasure.  Out of the ordinary!  Which probably doesn’t – or shouldn’t – mean daily.

 

Realising this has made me far more receptive to Smart Points.  When I look back over my first week, I can see that the quality of my meals improved markedly, particularly with regards to vegetable and protein content, and snacks mainly consisted of fresh fruit.  There was a bag of salted popcorn on Friday evening (deliberately chosen and enjoyed) and that was it.  Other than the chocolate truffle I had to end my meal on Saturday evening, I don’t think that I had any sweet stuff (again, apart from fruit).

 

First week fervour obviously helps make this easier but I think that bearing this in mind will really help me get along better with the Smart Points programme.  It will be interesting to see whether or not the scales come round. 

A post weigh-in post

Well, I am surely glad that I did write my pre weigh-in post before I went to the meeting. Because the scales were not kind. In fact, they were positively bitchy, informing me that I had managed to gain a pound over the course of the last week.

I’m no stranger to gains – they’re a fact of life, and I try to be sanguine about them but, oh! This stung quite a lot. Such that I could actually feel my eyes get hot and prickly when I stepped off, even while I was cheerfully telling the leader that I wouldn’t let this put me off and would give it another good go this week. Then I went to the meeting shop and spent £7 on over-processed WW own products that are full of the type of sugar replacements that people with delicate tummies should probably avoid.

But while waiting for the meeting to start, I actually sat and read my own post and it did make me feel a lot better. So what if the scales are taking a while to catch up? I know, in my heart of hearts, that I did my very best this week, that I made good decisions, and that I took proper care of myself. Hopefully, good results will follow (said with gritted teeth).

In other news, someone emailed me a few weeks ago to say that this blog had been listed as one of the Top 5 UK Weight Watchers Blogs and Websites in 2018. I’m not sure how many UK Weight Watchers Blogs there are (probably 5), and I’m not quite sure that this has actually been a Weight Watchers blog for a while but hey! We take our victories where we can. And the thumbnail of Minx they have used is one of my favourites so it’s worth a click just to admire her.

A pre weigh-in post

So, first week nearly over and in a few hours it will be time to hop up on the scales.  Whether they are the Scales of Doom or the Scales of Joy remains to be seen. 

I wanted to make sure that this post was written and up before the weigh in, so that I can look back on it regardless of the result.  Because, whatever the scores on the doors, this has been a successful week.

As I hoped, operating within a structure has been really good for me.  I have been eating properly for the first time in a while and my fruit and veg consumption has rocketed as I embrace zero point snacks.  This has had a knock on effect on my mental health – I feel much calmer and more in control.  And physically, my stomach has been OK.  Not perfect, but OK. 

I have had a lovely weekend with friends and managed to enjoy myself without going ridiculously overboard, without adopting a “Screw it, I can’t point so I’m going to eat and drink everything in sight,” attitude and, hugely, without having a drink.  I am a girl who loves her alcoholic beverages: to get through an entire sociable weekend watching other people tuck into large glasses of Pimms while sticking to water is a pretty big deal.  But I made the decision that it wasn’t worth the points and it wasn’t worth the potentially catastrophic effects on my beleaguered digestive system and I stuck to it.

So whatever the scales have to throw at me today (and I’m genuinely in the dark) I’m going to try and remember that, by any other measure, this has been a GOOD WEEK.

Summer in the city - a weekend round-up

I didn’t want to go down to London last weekend, I’ll be totally honest. I was nervous about being away from home – from D, from the cat, from familiar surroundings - and, bluntly, from my bathroom. I also did not want to have to spend a weekend guestimating points just a few days in to my newest and shiniest WW attempt.

I had more or less made up my mind not to go but D wasn’t having any of it. I don’t envy him much of the time; living with someone who is very anxious must be exhausting. You constantly have to be strong for them, to push them to overcome their entirely irrational fears. So I was effectively frogmarched on to the bus on Saturday morning – but, in the end, all was well and I had a lovely time and have come back with that new sense of confidence which comes from venturing outside the comfort zone. Thank you, D.

Of course, the fact remains that I have two days where my tracker may be way, way off. Well, actually, I think that I am fine for Sunday since we ate in and I was able to find all food items in the catalogue. I winced a bit that the innocent looking honey and seed rolls that we had for lunch turned out to be 9 Smart Points, but heigh-ho, that’s what weeklies are for.

Saturday night required a lot more guesswork, but whether I’m under or over, the meal itself was worth it. We went to a restaurant called Ember Yard in Fitzrovia and it was LOVELY - especially gratifying given that I suggested it. It’s a menu of small plates with a Spanish and Italian slant – some of the dishes are recognisable from the typical tapas repertoire, others not so much. Highlights included (surprisingly) chargrilled flatbread with thyme and smoked butter (so good we immediately ordered another) and a lovely special of sea bass with ajo blanco.

Seabass!

Bread!

I tried a little bit of everything, but stuck to water rather than indulging in wine or cocktails and then, in lieu of a dessert (tough going – the churros looked amazing) I ordered a double espresso and a single dark chocolate and Pedro Ximenez truffle (which item I thought was a really clever addition to the dessert menu). A divine full stop to the meal.

Truffle!

Also – if you’ll forgive me ditching the food talk for a minute – we went to the open air theatre in Regent’s Park, to see a production of “As You Like It” which was brilliant! Such a funny, sweet, silly rendering of the play, which I hitherto hadn’t considered one my favourite of Shakespeare’s comedies. The musical settings were a little bit cheesy but the cast carried them off with aplomb and the whole thing was an absolute joy. I’ve never seen a bad production there – and it’s a lovely venue if the weather holds out. If you’re London based and find yourself at a loose end, get thee hence.

After returning in such a good mood, I am not exactly sure what misguided impulse compelled me to jump on the bathroom scales yesterday morning. I haven’t weighed myself on them for a while, so I have no idea how my weight today relates to my official WI last Wednesday. If I was expecting to see a large drop after a whole four days of counting, I was doomed to disappointment. Not for nothing does lovely Peridot call them the Scales of Doom, because I immediately felt sulky and annoyed and resentful. The answer is clear – official weigh ins ONLY from now on and a focus on progress rather than perfection.

MPM: 16th July 2018

Back from the smoke, and ready to do my first Weight Watchers sponsored* MPM for a while.

*NB – Weight Watchers do not sponsor me. Which is a shame, because I could really do with the extra cash. I would also take payment in low point fizzy cola bottles, which is probably all that I am worth to them.

The current tactic is to plan a week’s worth of dinners first, point these up in advance and then build the rest of the week around the evening meals. That way, they get to stay as “normal” as possible – which, for me, is a priority. I’m hoping, therefore, that there shouldn’t be too much noticeable change to the weekly meal plans, but it will be interesting to see how that pans out over the following weeks and I may find that I need to start modifying things slightly if getting through the day proves tricky. Once the weather cools a little, I’d be quite keen to re-introduce a weekly soup night which would allow us both to have a day a week where we could build in a more decadent lunch or a few evening treats, but there is not a chance that I’m attempting to eat any soup other than gazpacho at the moment.

This week – D is out with friends on Friday which means prick and ping for me. I currently find myself with a raging sweet tooth, so I may get something really low point and then have a nice pudding afterwards. I saw Rachel Allen make a chocolate chip croissant bread and butter pudding on TV last night and almost swooned. Although I suspect that I would have to eat dust for a day in order to fit that particular pudding into a daily points allocation. Then, on Saturday we are seeing my Mum and Dad for dinner which should be lovely. Elsewhere:

Monday: fish tacos, inspired by Felicity Cloake’s recent column. I’ll be shallow frying / baking the fish to keep points down and replacing sour cream with fat free yoghurt. Sigh.

Tuesday: sweet potato cakes with coriander yoghurt dressing and salad. A lovely Ottolenghi recipe made much less virtuous than it sounds by frying said cakes in butter.

Wednesday: spaghetti carbonara. This is post WI. I am not promising that there won’t be some garlic bread on the side as well since, officially, points don’t reset until Thursday morning. Mwah hah hah.

Thursday: chicken Caesar salad. Am going to dust off my old WW version of the dressing and see how it fares. I plan do to little cubes of paprika dusted roast potato in lieu of croutons.

Sunday: we have a pot of delicious Bolognese sauce in the freezer. I can’t decide whether just to have it with a mound of spaghetti and courgette ribbons, or to make a gnocchi bake (we have some gnocchi in the fridge) with a gooey Mozzarella topping. I have yet to point up the sauce from the original recipe so that might tip the scales one way or the other.

Hard part over...

First meeting – check. D walked me to the doors to prevent me from chickening out. Fortunately, the meeting venue is about a two minute (slow) walk from our front door so there is literally no excuse to go, come rain or shine.

It was fine, as these things always are. My weight was, almost to the pound, identical to my pre-op weight last year (the best point of comparison since both are done fully clothed). So I’ve definitely proved that I can do maintenance. It is a small victory, but one to which I cling.

The revised plan sounds quite interesting. Chicken, fish, eggs, fat free plain yoghurt and pulses and now all zero point, alongside the old fruit and veg zero heroes. Hurrah! However, daily and weekly allowances are down. Boo. I still find the Smart Points formula far more restrictive than the old Pro Points one – foods high in fat and sugar are punitively high and the foods that they have selected as zero point definitely suggest that they are pushing people towards a more protein based diet (and I am a self-avowed carb monster). However, I think that this is going to be doable. Many of my favourite meals will likely take up a good two thirds of my daily points allowance, but I can stick to practically zero for breakfast (fruit and yoghurt) and lunch (salad and protein or soup).

Last hurrah supper – check. Pizza, from our divine local takeaway. Didn’t manage to eat it all, so it languishes in the fridge at the moment. Actually, that wasn’t hard at all (although resisting the leftovers might be).

First fully tracked day – check. I came in with two points to spare, which have been “rolled over” into my weeklies (you can now save up to four a day which is another innovation, and most welcome). Fruit, couscous and chicken salad, salmon with pasta pesto. Full of first day fervour, I found it relatively easy to avoid snacks and swiped away the offer of lunchtime fish and chips with nary a quiver.

So – hurdles yet to overcome. I’m away Saturday and Sunday, popping down to London for a night to see friends. It’s a shame that I can’t get one full week of “proper” tracking under my belt, since obviously I’m going to have to make some guestimates away from home. But I’ve already decided to eschew drinking and will just try and make sure that my food choices are as sensible as possible. Hopefully the Scales Of Doom (TM- Peridot) will look favourably on my efforts next Wednesday.

Sunshine, lollipops and a new blog post

Long-time no blog!  It is probably a little self-indulgent to say that I hope that I haven’t been missed – but I feel it is slightly justified given that lovely Hazel left a comment on my last post saying she missed my Meal Planning Mondays!  I promise to reintroduce them forthwith.  With regards the radio silence:

 

Reason the first – my digestive discomfort issues have been continuing.  I have always prided myself on the robustness of my digestive system and this has been unpleasant and disconcerting.  I finally plucked up the courage to go the GP and it is probably something very simple related to stomach bile (sorry if TMI) post gallbladder surgery.  It is not uncommon and can be controlled with medication.  So once anything more sinister is ruled out (and giving that all of this has only kicked off post surgery it seems highly unlikely) I will be rendered as right as rain by the wonder of our NHS.  Happy days.

 

Reason the second – which is related to reason the first.  Long term readers will know that, from time to time, I have a bit of an issue with anxiety.  Or rather, Anxiety, because anxiety is when you’re a little bit worried about a presentation that you have to do at work the following day and Anxiety is when you are frightened to leave your bedroom for reasons that are obscure even to you.  It’s frightfully common nowadays – the go-to mental health issue de nos jours, so I feel like something of a cliché but there you have it.  Fretting about my health and always trying to ensure the nearest toilet was within easy access in case of emergencies combined with my existing predisposition and made me…well, a bit shaky.  I don’t want to dwell on this too much – if it’s boring and tedious to me then it is undoubtedly boring and tedious to you.  Needless to say, fasting went by the wayside (low blood sugar is the last thing you need when you’re wobbling anyway) as did much cooking or, indeed, taking much pleasure in food.  (Sorry for the melodrama – can you understand why I didn’t post now?)

 

I haven’t weighed myself in a while but from the feel of clothes and suchlike I think it is all relatively stable but I’ve not been eating particularly well and that is stupid, because one of the best things to do for your mental health is to ensure that your diet and fitness are on point.  So that leads me to reason the third why I’ve been a bit reluctant to blog.  I’ve decided to go back to WW for a bit.

 

I know that I swore off it and I truly believe that, in the longer term, intermittent fasting will enable me to maintain my weight without being a slave to the pointing and weighing and measuring.  But I also believe that just for now, a bit of structure, something to focus on, would be a Good Thing.  And if I can ditch a few pounds in the process it will be an Even Better Thing.  I don’t intend to be evangelical about it.  I will eat out and have nights off – life is too short to never eat another takeaway.  And I will continue to monitor the situation.  If the return doesn’t justify the effort well, then, I’ll stop.

 

I’ve already signed up for the app and will be going to my first meeting tonight.  I’m intrigued about the new plan – it seems to be edging ever closer to Slimming World with more zero point foods – including lean poultry, fish, eggs and pulses.  I struggled initially when WW switched from Pro Points to Smart Points so it remains to be seen if the further changes make it more or less doable.  Regardless, a healthy project is just what I need at the moment to take my mind off my own navel.